Click-on-the-videos-to-see-another-type-of-disaster
Some of you will like this stuff.
Some of you will hate it.
Some will be indifferent.
I hate it.
We’ve spoken about this sort of thing recently, so I’m not going to take too much time on it.
Feel free to throw your 2 cents in if you desire. I might also, but I might not. I think it’s all getting to me. I need a vacation.
Another-Lutheran-church…or-Baptist?
Filed under: ELCA Youth Thingy |
The Old Adam Lives! 
disturbing.
Functioning Baptist, Lutheran in name only. Been there before MANY times in the SB realm.
Lutheran baptist wannabes are rank amatures. The sacraments must be getting in the way.
Here’s some from the PROS for the wannabes from our old play books, all of these are real none fabricated:
1. Create the illusion of crowd or crowded: Have the deacons remove some of the unfixed chairs in the chancel to create the “feel” of needing more seats due to growth. Note: won’t work with pews.
2. Build a Disneyesque theme area for the young ones, include two story slides, etc…
3. Have the power team come in and break boards then a 45 minute will breaking alter call.
4. Buy a huge sound system with jumbotrons and use it to at the local university campus as a “evangelistic outreach” to draw them in.
5. Promote many phased programs.
6. Church weight room.
7. Church beauty salon. No I’m not kidding!
8. Pipe in faked overseas pre-recorded missions reports to create the constant illusion of super active on the spot missions news.
9. Build it and they will come!
10. You need an exciting new “How To ______(spiritual growth thing) book to come out roughly every 18 months. That’s about the timeline the old excite instruction book lingers in the emotions needing a refreshment.
11. You need some rock/pop bands.
12. Promote theatrics in the place of sermons!
13. You need a million dollar high quality level easter pageant production that reinacts the last days of Christ. If it gets stale, tell the story from another characters perspective, kind of like the Bard’s Tale and so forth.
14. The keys are NEW & ACTION, ACTION, ACTION and ACTION! You MUST create a wholistic look, feel, sound and report that screams ACTION is ALWAYS going on here. This is not the place for sad sack people burdened down with sin and guilt. You don’t want any gloomy gusses dragging you down!
15. You need a “lutheran” version of Promise Keepers – being Lutheran you can pump it up a notch by selling beer. Something that would never have occurred in the original PKs!
16. You are going to have to stop getting your pastors from seminary and look for more MBA degrees to!
That should get one started.
L
“15. You need a “lutheran” version of Promise Keepers – being Lutheran you can pump it up a notch by selling beer. Something that would never have occurred in the original PKs! ”
Larry,
You are starting to make a lot of sense.
You are a PRO!
excuse me while I go puke.
We have a tie: Form – 0, Content – 0
Looking back to my unbelieving college years I notice a lot of familiar things – every rock concert I attended.
I’ll never forget our big mega SB church we were at, the first time I started to “get a clue”. We had just invested some huge monies in upgrading the stage (the worship area per se) with state of the art sound, multiple jumbotrons, etc. A group of our “ministers” decided to go “evangelizing” the “heathen” at the local University campus. One of our “evangelist” was telling this “heathen” student, “…come to our church and visit we have great music, drums, guitars, these huge jumbotron screens…great worship”. Get this, the “heathen” replied to the “evangelist”, “I thought Christianity was all about Jesus dying for sins”. True story, I kid you not.
Question: Who evangelized who?
Rock On Ablaze! You’ll loose Christ in less than a decade I promise you that much for certain. I’ve already been there.
L
Can anyone say “massively CORNY?”
“We Will Love You” sung to the tune of “We Will Rock You?” Come on. If I were an unbeliever I think I would see that as seriously, seriously corny. A bunch of people singing corny “Christian” rip-offs of rock songs would really not impress me.
Can you tell that I hate this kind of stuff too?
Larry – wow, that story is scary. When unbelievers have our message down better than we do, it’s time to rethink what we are saying to the culture.
I think Chris Rosebrough once referred to this sort of thing on his program as “entertaining goats” (instead of “feeding sheep”).
WHen I lived in Cedar Rapids, Ia the Catholic Churches all had mega events with music and beer tents for a long weekend. There were 3 big catholic churches and at least 2 of the 3 served beer and had country music dances. I distinctly remember buying a bucket of beer during Chili days at one of the Catholic Church events.
Who woulda thought? Certainly not Martin Luther. I can see it now…a news flash….
The Rise and Fall of Protestantism. It’s comin’
to a church near you.
There are some things ya just can’t breath any more life into. The blinking sign says, “Get Out, Get Out, Get Out!”
Just so you know, lots of Babdists (like most I know, esp. those at my church) think this kind of thing is horrible, ridiculous, and blasphemous.
Sorry for the bad example…