Sin…the gift that keeps on giving.

Ok, so you commited a great big one. You’ve outdone yourself this time and hauled off and done something really bad. You have sinned in such a way as to affect not only yourself, but all those around you. And you can’t take it back. You can’t fix this one. This one has had a domino effect that is still going…years later.

What do you do? Well you can say you’re sorry. You can try and make up for it in all the ways you can think of. You of course, have told the Lord your God all about it and He was glad that you did (as if He wasn’t aware of it already). You  begged His forgiveness and He has told you that He does forgive you. You knew He would, He has promised He would, on the cross, in His Word, in your baptism, and in His supper. And that is truly a wonderful thing.

But you just can’t get over it. You see the damage that you have caused and it you wonder if it will ever end. You replay the incident over and over in your mind. “If I had only done this, or not done that”. “If only I hadn’t …”. But all the ‘If’ I had only’s’ only seem to make matters worse. Those that were hurt say they forgive you. And whether or not they really do or not, they will never forget. The trajectories of their lives are forever altered. They now are passing on the hurt to others. The wreckage adds up and multiplies in ways we cannot know, but we know it is happening whether we see it or not.

This is sin. This is what happens when we least expect it. These are the depths we have fallen to. This is why we deserve nothing more than temporal and eternal death as creatures of a Holy and Righteous God. 

While the pain oftentimes does not subside, and while those we have hurt may never ever fully recover, we can be sure of one thing. Because of the cross of Christ and His answered prayer to the Father, we surely are forgiven. He chooses not to remember this injustice against Himself, ourselves, our families and our neighbors. He chooses to honor the prayer of His Son…”Father forgive them…”

“All things work together for good for all those who have faith.” I have a hard time believing that. I often have very little faith. I have to hope that He will keep me in His faith and give me the faith that I need, and carry me through times when I just don’t believe Him.

“Lord I believe, help me in my unbelief.”